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Arkansas Promoting I-30 as World's Longest Vibrator
Arkansas Promoting I-30 as World's Longest Vibrator

 

Arkansas' I-30

 
 

Arkansas' Interstate 30: Usage by single women is up 70% since the State began promoting it as the worlds longest vibrator, a DOT report stated.  

 
 


 
 




"I'll never look at those pot-holes the same way again."

 

—Area Motorist


By Rob Wellesly,
DIESEL JOCKEY NEWS ROVING REPORTER

Little Rock The Arkansas Department of Transportation announced today that it’s "Healthy Roads to Texas" campaign is a major success.  

The advertising campaign, which started 6 months ago, promotes Interstate 30 as the world’s longest vibrator.  The campaign was the brainchild of Alfred Rogers, Director of Public Relations for the Arkansas Department of Transportation.

In an exclusive interview with Diesel Jockey News, Mr. Rogers explained the promotion's origin.  "We were having a lot of complaints about the roughness of Interstate 30," Rogers said, "So I decided to drive down to Texarkana to see if I could work out a solution to the problem.  My wife Lucille really deserves the credit for the campaign.  She said that the bumps and vibrations could actually get to feeling pretty good, if you sat just right.  Well — click! — it was like someone turned on a light and the campaign was born.  Of course, we knew we'd have to appeal to the family crowd, so we went with the 'healthy roads' bit to go along with our 'Land of Opportunity' State slogan." 

"The campaign has been very successful," Mr. Rogers stated, "we've seen a 30% increase in overall traffic on I-30 and a surprising 70% increase in usage by single women.  We're even thinking about sending out a road crew to add a few potholes and cracks to the highway's few remaining smooth spots."

Arkansas' Department of Transportation also announced a new promotional campaign for Interstate 40.  "After the success of the I-30 advertising, we decided to push forward plans for the 'Roller Coaster of Opportunity' campaign for I-40," announced Mr. Rogers.  "With the hills and potholes on I-40 we hope to cash in on the teenage thrill-seekers you know, the 'Mountain-Dew' crowd."

The Arkansas State Legislature is currently in emergency session trying to push through a bill that will allow toll collection on the State's Interstate system.  "Basically, we see incredible revenue potential here," State Representative Buford Bosler told reporters.  "We haven’t seen this much chance to make money since we sent old Willie to the White House."