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Arkansas'
Interstate 30: Usage by single women
is up 70% since the State began promoting
it as the worlds longest vibrator, a DOT
report stated.
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"I'll
never look at those pot-holes the same way
again."
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—Area
Motorist
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By
Rob
Wellesly,
DIESEL JOCKEY NEWS ROVING REPORTER
Little
Rock
— The Arkansas Department of Transportation announced today that
it’s "Healthy Roads to Texas"
campaign is a major success.
The advertising
campaign, which started 6 months ago, promotes
Interstate 30 as the world’s longest vibrator.
The campaign was the brainchild of Alfred
Rogers, Director of Public Relations for the
Arkansas Department of Transportation.
In
an exclusive interview with Diesel
Jockey News, Mr.
Rogers explained the promotion's
origin. "We were having
a lot of complaints about the
roughness of Interstate 30,"
Rogers said, "So I
decided to drive down to Texarkana to
see if I could work out a solution to the problem.
My
wife Lucille really deserves the
credit for the campaign. She said that
the bumps and vibrations could
actually get to feeling pretty good, if you sat
just right. Well
— click!
— it was
like someone turned on a light and the
campaign was born. Of course, we knew we'd have to appeal to the family
crowd, so we went with the 'healthy
roads' bit to go along with our 'Land of
Opportunity' State slogan."
"The
campaign has been very
successful," Mr. Rogers stated,
"we've seen a 30% increase in
overall traffic on I-30 and a
surprising 70% increase in
usage by single women. We're
even thinking about sending out a road
crew to add a few potholes and cracks
to the highway's few remaining smooth
spots."
Arkansas'
Department of Transportation also
announced a new promotional campaign for Interstate
40. "After the success of the
I-30 advertising, we decided to push
forward plans for the 'Roller Coaster
of Opportunity' campaign for
I-40," announced Mr. Rogers.
"With the hills and potholes on
I-40 we hope to cash in on the
teenage thrill-seekers
— you know, the 'Mountain-Dew' crowd."
The
Arkansas State Legislature is
currently in emergency session trying
to push through a bill that will allow toll collection on
the State's Interstate system. "Basically,
we see incredible revenue potential
here," State Representative Buford
Bosler told reporters. "We haven’t seen this
much chance to make money since we
sent old Willie to the White
House." 
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